It's Just a Waiting Game
by sugarspiceandsin
Summary: Dean has to deal with the biggest burden he's ever had to carry. Major character deaths. Mentions of Sabriel and Destiel. One shot. Fluffy fluff fluff at the end!


_**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural. I thought of this story whilst on holiday and had to write it all out on the motel pads of paper, I'm not going to lie, it was pretty difficult to keep track of all the pages! Enjoy and as ever, please leave me some feedback if you have the chance!**_

It's Just a Waiting Game

Dean had never considered himself as an alcoholic, but looking around at all the empty bottles and can littering the motel room, he felt he needed to reconsider. Rubbing his tired and gritty eyes, Dean pondered whether it was a serious sign when a person's muscles seemed simultaneously stiff and loose. He only drank to forget the things he didn't have the strength to remember, however, this time it appeared that copious amounts of alcohol weren't going to help. A gentle flutter of wings broke his thoughts, momentarily causing Dean to freeze with shock. As his hunter instincts kicked in, Dean pulled out the angel sword which he had taken to carrying on his person at all times, it had turned out that the weapon was quite useful at killing a variety of monsters. The face that greeted him was one Dean thought he'd never see again.

"Gabriel?"

"Hey kiddo! Where's Gigantor? I thought you guys were never to be separated!" Gabriel's grin faltered and disappeared as he took in the room and Dean's appearance. "What happened to you Deano?" He moved forward to get a closer look at Dean's haggard face. "To be honest I was expecting a much warmer welcome after I gave you the plan to trap Lucifer back in his box and took one for the team. Where are Sam and Castiel?"

Dean blinked rapidly as the question revolved around his head; Gabriel's unusually serious face swam in and out of focus. A steady hand on his shoulder pushed Dean gently onto the edge of the bed and Gabriel pulled up a chair.

"Tell me Dean," Gabriel said softly, "it'll help."

Dean pinned the archangel with a distrustful look. In his experience, angels were there to _fix_ things, to _help_ and to make promises, but they never delivered in the end, dumping Dean back on his sorry ass before he could even blink. Still, Gabriel did have a point. Dean hadn't told anyone, not even Bobby (the last living member of his muddled family) what had happened almost a year ago. Maybe it would be good to get some of it off his chest. After a deep, steadying breath, Dean hoarsely told the newly resurrected Gabriel the biggest burden he'd ever had to bear.

*~#~*

_It had been a rather wet April in Jackson Hole, Wyoming where Dean, Sam and Cas had been hunting unlike anything any of them had ever encountered. A witch had been bitten by a vampire that had halfway through his meal, decided to turn her and then the witch-vampire had purposely allowed themselves to be bitten by a werewolf. Finally the monster had been possessed by a demon who had gone crazy after the downfall of Lucifer, not unlike Hitler after the downfall of Germany in World War One._

_The creature took its victims, sucked them dry, stole their heart and then placed the corpse back in their beds, for parents or partners to find the next morning. Dean supposed that that was the sick sense of humour that demons were famed for having. It was the night of 21__st__ April and the three of them were carrying of their attack. They'd had to do it at night as the creature wasn't active during the day, whether due to the vampire or werewolf part, none of them were really sure. Nor were any of them particularly sure on how to kill the thing, Dean had suggested beheading; Sam had thought a silver bullet to the heart and Cas had believed that setting fire to the creature's nest was the way to go. They had all agreed on one thing though, the demon was the first thing that has to be addressed in the attack. So it had been decided that Cas would smite the demon straight away, because it was quicker than an exorcism, but who would go with Cas to kill the monster took a while to decide. Dean had maintained the argument that he should go with Cas as he was older, had more experience... and that was pretty much it. That and his need to protect Sammy from everything. Sam, though, had shot through all of Dean's points like a bullet through tissue paper._

"_Dean, I more than made up any missed experience during the time you were in Hell, as well as that year when Gabriel killed you," Sam had countered. "Besides, when you're emotional about a case like you are now, you get reckless and impulsive, which usually leads you into danger. Also, I need to make it up after... well, you know."_

_Dean did know, Sam was referring to his soulless period. Although Dean didn't hold Sam responsible, Sammy still felt the need to do everything he could to make amends. It was because of this that Dean had relented. That is why on that dewy night of 21__st__ April; Dean had found himself pushing through wet leaves and branches holding a can of gasoline and a lighter, on his way to torch the damn nest. After 5 minutes Dean had seen a faint glow of the brightest white through the thickset trees of the old wood, signalling Cas' smiting of the crazy demon. He'd sped up, the nest was close by, he just needed to torch it and then he would be able to join the fight. Dean had turned left at the lightning struck tree and there it was, the nest. Made from twigs and leaves, it looked like a giant birds nest had fallen from a tree, but when Dean moved closer he saw a pile of human hearts stashed in the corner and the blood drenched foliage by the light of the moon. Suddenly, a shot had rung out, breaking the stillness of the night, meaning Sammy's precise shot had destroyed the werewolf quarter. Dean had smiled as he soaked the nest in gasoline and flicked open the lighter._

"_See ya sucker," he'd said and directed the flame._

_He had stood there, assessing his handiwork, checking he'd torched everything, when the silence of the night was shattered once again. A terrible, but somehow beautiful, cry of pain and outrage echoed through the threes. Dean's senses had been invaded by a memory of Hell he'd never recollected before. There was pain, agonising pain and seemingly no end to it when he'd heard the same cry. The demons had screamed in terror before disintegrating, but the sound was the most beautiful thing Dean had ever heard. A hand had grasped Dean's shoulder and everything turned pure white._

"_Cas," Dean breathed back in the woods._

_Just as he'd made the decision to start running to the fight, Dean realised he already was. His feet slipped and slid on the wet grass and slimy bracken, impeding his progress, though not impeding his determination. Dean had pushed himself as far as he was physically able to, his muscles were screaming in protest and he'd sucked in shallow breaths of air in desperation. The run had seemed to take an eternity, but finally Dean had broken through the confining trees, into the clearing where the fight was and drew lungfuls of air rapidly before he could even process the scene in front of him. The creature lay dead at one end of the clearing, exorcised, shot and beheaded and Dean had felt a moment of triumph. Then, he had looked at the opposite end of the clearing and once again started running before he was fully aware of doing so. Cas was crouched beside an unusually large and still body, blood glistening on a tree close by. The body was wearing a familiar set of shoes and jeans. A mop of long dark hair was visible under Cas' arm, hair that could only belong to –_

"_Sammy!" Dean cried out desperately. "Sammy please!" Dean ran faster. "Sam! Talk to me!"_

_Dean had ground to a halt, feet away from Sammy's lifeless body as Castiel had straightened up. Cas had turned to Dean, his expression unreadable and taken a step forward. Instead of walking however, Cas had staggered unsteadily and pitched forwards to the ground. Dean had rushed toward Cas and caught him before he'd hit the floor and after a moments deliberations lowered Cas down gently onto the earth._

"_I would save him Dean, but the effort would kill me before a drop of life made it into Sam," Cas rasped, looking both distraught and apologetic._

_Dean had shook his head, not trusting himself to speak whilst a huge, black chasm has opened itself up in his chest, obliterating everything except pain and grief. This was like the Apocalypse all over again, all the people he cares about, his _family_, were dying in front of him. Cas had let out a series of racking coughs, his chest convulsing, while Dean cradled Cas' head and torso in his arms. A thin stream if blood trickled out of Cas' mouth, marring his otherwise perfect face._

"_I am cold," Cas murmured hoarsely, mild surprise colouring his voice. He had never been affected by the temperature before._

"_It's going to be alright Cas," Dean had reassured them both, his voice breaking as he carded his fingers through Cas' soft hair in a soothing gesture._

_Cas had granted Dean one of his rare smiles that Dean loved so much after another bout of violent coughing. _

"_I know it will be alright Dean," Cas replied. "You are going to be alright too. I will make sure Sam and I are back before you can miss us. I promise I will never leave you Dean, you are my everything."_

_Tears had fallen freely down Dean's face as Cas dissolved into his final coughs. Slowly Cas pulled the angel sword from inside his trench coat and pushed it into Dean's hand._

"_Take it," he whispered. "Stay safe."_

_With a shuddering breath, Cas' last link to life had severed, leaving Dean alone in a clearing littered with the corpses of the fallen, with nothing left except guilt, grief and a sliver of hope born from a dying promise._

*~#~*

Back in the hotel room Dean found himself unable to continue his story, the burials and the waiting remaining silent. He didn't need to in the end; Gabriel could read his thoughts and probably knew more than Dean was willing to share.

"It wasn't your fault kiddo," Gabriel said quietly, proving Dean's inkling right.

He just shook his head, still crying silently. Dean had had an entire year to muse over the what ifs, a well meaning Gabriel wasn't going to change his mind. Gabriel sighed, anticipating Dean's stubbornness.

"Go to sleep Dean," he said and lightly touched two fingers to Dean's forehead, sending the hunter into a dreamless sleep. Another light touch removed all traces of alcohol and previous liver damage from Dean's body. Gabriel tucked Dean into bed, like an older brother caring for a younger, a replica of Dean and Sam when they were children. A final wave of his hand and the room emptied of the bottles and cans. One last glance at a finally peaceful Dean, Gabriel stretched his wings and flew straight to Heaven.

*~#~*

Joshua was tending to the roses in The Garden when he became aware of a presence. Turning around, the two angels embraced one another with the air of old friends reuniting after a long time.

"Joshua," Gabriel smiled, "it's good to see you again."

"Likewise Gabriel, I have missed your companionship," Joshua eyed Gabriel. "I imagine your visit is not purely a social one. I believe you are still in witness protection."

"You're right unfortunately; I'm here about Dean Winchester."

Joshua nodded as though Gabriel had confirmed his suspicions and led him over to a marble bench nearby.

"When the young Winchesters visited me themselves, they intrigued me. Not because of their supposed destiny, but because of them themselves. I readily understood Castiel's fascination, as I am sure you do also." Joshua sighed. "I watched them when I could. I watched Dean watch the two people he loves most die in front of him, just as helpless as he was being limited to my own garden." He gestured to the blooming flowers around him. "I despaired as time went on and his hope slowly disappeared. He drowned himself in alcohol and if you had not arrived when you did, I am not sure Dean would have survived much longer."

"I don't understand though, why did Cas die? His Grace should have prevented that," Gabriel asked.

For the first time ever, Gabriel saw a look of anger flash across the older angels face.

"At the end of the Apocalypse, Castiel came back to Heaven for a year, in order to give Dean a chance at normal life and to help gain some level of control in Heaven. However, when Dean learnt of Sam's return and the brothers resumed hunting, Castiel joined them again; he in turn resumed his role. The other angels did not understand that Castiel was in the role or place he was meant to be, by Dean Winchester's side. They did not understand his emotions for Dean, his _love_. They just saw abandonment of his religion, his brothers and sisters and his Father. Their fury consumed them and as punishment, they began to take Castiel's Grace from him again, small pieces at a time. By the time Castiel realised, it was too late, he could not save Sam Winchester, nor could he save himself."

Gabriel sat in silence for a moment, controlling his fury. Castiel had always been his favourite 'little brother' and hearing of his treatment sent waves of rage crashing through Gabriel.

"Why haven't they returned to Dean then? Surely they must be in Heaven?" Gabriel pondered.

"Yes, I imagine they probably are," Joshua commented, standing up and turning from Gabriel.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Gabriel asked slowly, standing up himself. "Joshua?"

Taking a deep breath, Joshua turned back to Gabriel with a blank expression on his face.

"We can't find them."

*~#~*

It had taken three months of Earth time for Cas to be reassembled and when he awoke in Heaven, he was shocked to find new improvements. His new gold wings screamed his newly granted power and Cas smiled at the promotion his wings symbolised. He was an archangel. Cas had turned around, wanting to capture the expression on Sam's face and to explain to him what the wing size and colour meant, but Sam wasn't there. Cas frowned. He'd just have to find Sam instead then.

He could have just used his new powers as an archangel to find Sam, but Cas didn't want the other angels to know about either of them yet. So Cas had spent 11 days (11 months on Earth) flying around Heaven, mercifully undetected due to his new status. The 11 days of searching had revealed nothing the Cas so far and he was starting to become desperate. He was positive that Sam was actually in Heaven, but each day spent searching meant another month that Dean had to wait. Cas had considered visiting Earth to show Dean that he was alive, except he'd promised Dean he would only return with Sam. He was running out of options, Cas was sorely tempted to use his Grace. If the other angels reached Sam before him because of it though, who knew what they'd do to Sam. Cas couldn't put Sam in that kind of danger.

Inspiration hit him as Cas flew over Robyn Cooper's piece of Heaven: Ash. Dean's friend Ash would be able to find Sam! Cas changed his course immediately and flew as fast as he could.

*~#~*

To his credit, Ash didn't even blink when a harassed looking angel with giant golden wings that oozed power walked through the doors of The Roadhouse and into his personal Heaven.

"I need you to find someone for me," Cas commanded without preamble.

"Surely ya can use ya spidey-senses for that," Ash countered.

"Actually, I cannot. If I do, the other angels will also be alerted to and find Sam Winchester, therefore putting him in danger I do not want," Cas advanced forward threateningly, as though he could see said danger.

"This is about Sam? Why didn't ya say so!" Ash pulled his laptop out from under the bar. "Wait, who are ya?"

"Castiel."

Ash visibly relaxed. "So I finally get to meet ya. Those Winchesters hold ya in high esteem, as do Ellen and Jo."

Cas flushed with happiness whilst Ash tapped away at the keys.

"Shouldn't take me more than 2 hours," Ash informed Cas. "Beer?"

Cas accepted the cold beverage and settled himself onto a bar stool, more than happy to wait 2 hours. The time passed relatively quickly and Cas found that he rather liked Ash's Heaven, it was calm and peaceful, the jukebox played softly in the background and occasionally Ash drew Cas into a short conversation. 1 hour and 48 minutes later, Ash let out a cheer and span the laptop around so that Cas could see the monitor.

"Found him!" Ash crowed. "Will that help ya?"

"Most definitely," Cas smiled, brimming with excitement and joy. "You have my profound gratitude."

Ash saluted and Cas waved before The Roadhouse faded away and Cas could see Sam's own Heaven.

*~#~*

When Cas arrived, he was surprised to see a scene that resided in his own memories. He, Dean and Sam were sitting in a road side cafe and Dean had brought every item on the menu for Cas to try. The brothers had had plenty of amusement watching Cas' reactions to the foods, but in this scene only Dean was laughing uproariously while Sam sat back and watched, a wistful smile on his face. Cas watched himself try a piece of fried egg, only to spit it out and pull a disgusted face. He chuckled.

"I see what you and Dean found so funny now."

Sam span around so fast that Cas was sure that if Sam were still human, he would have caused himself some damage.

"Cas? Cas!" Sam sprung up and eyed Cas' wings appreciatively. He whistled. "Nice wings."

"Thank you Sam," Cas replied sincerely. "They symbolise my power as an archangel."

"You're an archangel now?"

"It appears so."

Sam nodded acceptingly. "So, what's the plan?"

"To go home," Cas smiled.

Sam grinned in response.

"However, before we do depart, I think I had better send a warning to the other angels to leave us alone from now on. I do not want to die again anytime soon."

"I second that," Sam agreed. "How will you warn them?"

"A burst of power should do it."

Cas closed his eyes and focused all his power into a ball in the centre of his chest. When the ball glowed bright white and began pulsing, he let go. He could feel the resulting wave shoot across the planes of Heaven, mingling with all the Graces of his brother's and sister's. Cas opened his eyes to see Sam standing in front of him looking awed.

"That should do it."

"Too right kiddo, you nearly knocked me off my feet," said a new voice.

"Hello Gabriel," Cas said evenly.

"You know Joshua has been looking for you two for ages, where have you been? Never mind that!" Gabriel waved his hand dismissively. "We need to get you two back down to Dean."

"Is he okay?" Sam asked anxiously.

"He's doing just fine Gigantor," said Gabriel cheerfully. "Boy, am I glad to see you again!"

Sam looked confused and wary. "Why?"

Gabriel grinned mischievously and leapt onto Sam, crashing their lips together. When they parted after an awkward cough from Cas, Gabriel wore a smug look. Sam, Cas noted with surprise, looked rather shocked but also pleased.

"If you have quite finished," Cas said sternly and touched Sam's forehead to take them home.

Back to Dean.

*~#~*

They arrived at the hotel with Gabriel in tow at around half three in the morning.

"Well this wasn't the welcome back I'd been expecting," Sam said wryly, as Dean rolled over and continued snoring.

"I hear you lover," Gabriel intoned, grinning wolfishly when Sam blushed.

Cas however, paid no attention to the exchange, he was scanning the room as he'd noticed a familiar smell, but didn't know where it was originating from. Suddenly, it clicked into place; the smell reminded him of Heaven. Cas shot Gabriel a questioning look and was rewarded with a thought wave, one of his new archangel promotions. _He was in a pretty bad state_, Gabriel explained and showed Cas Dean's haggard face and numerous alcohol containers. Internally, Cas grimaced and fought his wave of despair.

"We should let him sleep," Cas said, "you too should sleep Sam."

"Sure, I could do with some shut-eye," Sam agreed and pottered about getting ready for bed.

"What are your plans Gabriel?" Cas asked. He loved his brother but he didn't think he could withstand his loud personality tonight.

"Oh, I'll be out of your hair," Gabriel smirked. "I have some plans to put into action." With a wink at Sam, he was gone.

Soon enough Sam also fell asleep, leaving Cas alone watching the Winchester brothers sleep peacefully, praying to God that his actions hadn't just made everything worse.

*~#~*

A few hours later, Dean slowly returned to consciousness, feeling better rested than he had in a long time. Being hangover free was also a nice surprise.

"Maybe he does have some use," muttered Dean groggily, feeling grateful for Gabriel's presence last night.

To prolong the moment when he'd have to get up, Dean rolled over and glanced at the empty bed (he still brought a double room out of habit and hope, although he would never admit that). Only the bed wasn't empty. Dean slowly dragged the knife he always slept with out from under the pillow and stealthily crept towards what appeared to be the sleeping form of his dead brother. Standing there, knife poised in case 'Sam' awoke, Dean thought of all the possible explanations. Demon? Shape shifter? Hallucination? Dream? He'd finally snapped and gone crazy? Or maybe it was really Sammy. The gentle noise of someone clearing their throat made Dean mentally kick himself. He should have known there would be more than one. Still unsure of the situation, Dean was at loss as to what to do when he saw Cas sitting in the room chair at the end of the beds. The Castiel-looking thing held its hand up in a 'stop, wait one second' gesture and Dean cocked one eyebrow as an invitation to take the floor.

Without warning two black shadows were expanding across the wall. They were wings. _Castiel's _wings. Cas had once explained that in the unlikely event that something was posing as an angel, they would never be able to replicate their wings. Besides, Dean would be able to recognise Cas' wings anywhere, though right now they looked bigger than he remembered.

"Is it really you?" Dean whispered, his weapon hanging loosely at his side, all but forgotten due to the tidal wave of emotions warring in his chest.

"Yes Dean," Cas answered in his deep voice and Dean nearly cried, he hadn't realised how much he'd missed that voice.

"And that's – that's Sammy?" asked Dean hopefully and Cas nodded his confirmation.

Dean grinned a blinding, side splitting grin and if anyone else had been there to see it, they would have proclaimed that Dean was the happiest person in the universe.

"SAMMY!" Dean bellowed, just like he always did if he was up before his early rising brother.

He was rewarded by Sam jerking awake like someone had poked him with a cattle prod, getting tangled in the sheets and falling off the bed in the effort to untangle himself. Laughing, Dean pulled Dam off the floor and straight into a bone crushing hug.

"Dean, it's really me! Cas brought me back from Heaven, I promise!" Sam cried, struggling within the embrace. "I'll do the holy water, the knife, everything to prove it!"

"Sam," Dean pulled back to look Sam in the face, "do you really think I'd be hugging you if I wasn't 100% sure it was you?"

"Oh," said Sam as he realised the situation. "That's alright then," and pulled Dean in for another hug, a flutter of wings announced a new arrival.

"Well ain't that sweet," Gabriel said, pulling a red lollipop out of his mouth with a pop. "It's making me quite emotional actually."

The brothers broke apart and Sam looked at Gabriel in confusion.

"What are you doing here?" he asked bluntly.

"As all of my projects are completed, the only thing missing is you Sammy." Dean opened his mouth to object but Gabriel cut across him. "You do look appealing whilst not fully awake, but I'm sure I'll rectify that with the fun I have planned for us both," he leered.

Dean blinked and both Sam and Gabriel were gone.

"I take it back!" he shouted at the ceiling, "you are useless!"

Dean stomped into the bathroom and when he came out half an hour later, he found Cas still sitting in the room chair looking at Dean in a concerned manner.

"How are you Dean?" Cas asked seriously.

"Fine."

"Are you sure?"

Grunt.

"Gabriel showed me how you were last night."

Silence.

"Is there anything you wish to talk about?"

Dean had frozen when Cas had mentioned the night before, but now he whirled around with his arms crossed defensively.

"Yeah actually I do. Why the fuck did it take you so long to return? What happened to being 'back before you can miss us'? I waited a fucking year Cas! Where the fuck were you?"

Cas' expression remained perfectly blank, except Dean could see the despair and guilt in those clear blue eyes, making him feel guilty himself for his outburst.

"What you must understand Dean is that time flows differently in Heaven. The three days it took for me to be reborn in Heaven was three months for you."

"That still doesn't explain where those other nine months went," Dean said petulantly, his anger dissolving under the guilt and joy he felt.

"That was how long it took me to find Sam safely, I did not want to give his location to the other angels," Cas explained.

The remains of Dean's anger were replaced with gratitude towards Cas and Dean found he could not look the angel in the eye.

"I missed you," Dean muttered quietly, almost wishing Cas wouldn't hear him.

"I missed you too Dean," Cas honestly replied and swept Dean into another hug. "I am sorry I took so long."

"It's okay," Dean kissed Cas' hair impulsively. "Just don't leave me again."

Cas' arms tightened around Dean's waist.

"I won't."


End file.
